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Some Thanks and a Request
February 11th, 2010 | Author: Eric Hays-Strom

While adjusting to a new member in our family, and the inevitable changes in lifestyle (I have to take him for a walk in the bitter cold at 10:30 at night… THAT is a big adjustment) life hasn’t been all fun and puppy kisses.

Many of those who get my updates are members of my family, and are intimately involved in what I’m about to write.  This post is for the 2/3s of my readers who are NOT family.

This week, our family is reeling from the news that one of my young nephews (I’m not naming him, as I don’t know if his family would want that disseminated) has been diagnosed with lung cancer.  The family is blessed to have several professionals in the health care profession, doctors, nurses, administrators.  These individuals have jumped to the plate, and are moving heaven and earth and the medical bureaucracy to get my nephew all the bestest of the bestest of care and treatment.  That’s what they do so well, among many other things.

I can’t be of any help to my cousin and her son (the nephew in question) when it comes to medical things.  I don’t know a tibia from a fibula… except I think they’re both bones.

So I do what I can.  I want to thank all of you who read this blog.  Specifically, I want to thank the Prayer Ministry of MCC Omaha, my local congregation.  I want to thank the Prayer Ministry team at Resurrection MCC in Houston, Texas.  And I want to thank all the Prayer Ministry people with Excel International de Colores, an International organization providing weekend spirituality courses, similar to retreats.  All of you who are praying for my nephew, your prayers mean more than I could possibly express.

And to those not in my family, and not in one of the aforementioned prayer ministries, please add “Eric’s Nephew and family” to your prayer list.  They need all the prayers they can get.  And while you’re at it, add the medical personnel overseeing his care.

Many thanks to all of you!

Category: Spirituality  | Comments off
Austerity Revisited
December 02nd, 2009 | Author: Eric Hays-Strom

Well, here’s something to add to the previous post.

As most of you know, last Spring, Scott enrolled to take college courses at UNO where he works.  He’s seeking to complete his bachelor’s degree, and plans to pursue graduate work in Archeology.  As an employee of the University, Scott gets a discount on his tuition and other expenses associated with his education.

When I got word at the dealership this a.m. about the brakes, I sent him a brief text message giving him the bad news.

So, just now I got a new text message from Scott.  He tells me HE has paid for the brake work.  It seems that even though he’s an employee, apparently the University made a mistake.  They listed him as a Non-Resident of Nebraska, and as anyone with knowledge of college expenses knows, that equates to higher tuition.

However, there is an agreement that give residents of Pottawattamie County, Iowa, the same tuition rates as a resident of Nebraska (I think a few other counties over here get that as well.)

The University admin has discovered their mistake, and are reimbursing him $800 for the summer semester!

Of course, that $800 pays for the brake work.  I find the coincidence of the timing rather interesting.  Discovered and remedied on the same day as unexpected expense.

Some might say that is not a miracle and that the timing is merely fortuitous.  But I have learned over 5 decades that it is precisely in the fortuitous that miracles are to be found.  Sure, every now and then a miracle occurs that simply transcends the capability of science and reason to explain.  I suppose spitting in the dust, and using the resultant mud to cure lifelong blindness is one of the latter.  But I have discovered that far more often miracles CAN be explained by both science and reason.  It’s the fortuitousness of the occurrence that makes it a miracle and that proves to me God’s hand is involved.

Yes, I’d love a BIG miracle.  An army of angels setting up camp in my front yard would be nice.  The sudden appearance of a ton (as in specifically 2000 pounds – 32,000 ounces) of gold in my living room would be mighty nice, too.  Perhaps coming home to discover that a brand spanking new house has miraculously appeared where my 1910 Bungalow now stands… yeah, pretty awesome.  An overnight breakout of world-wide peace and the sudden end of all drought, resulting in the complete end of world hunger, coupled with the immediate disappearance of all forms of disease – those would be even BETTER “Big” miracles.

But, that’s really not how life generally happens, is it?  It’s the sudden appearance of $800 when $800 is needed, even though it comes from a totally mundane and easily explained source…. Those are the kind of miracles I tend to expect.  God never seems to let us down.

Thank you God!

Category: Our Life Together, Spirituality  | Comments off
interlude
July 01st, 2009 | Author: Eric Hays-Strom

Hi little world of mine!

Scott and I had a wonderful trip last week!

A long time ago… 17 years to be exact… MCC Omaha moved in to the building where we now meet.  The partner of the man who was the pastor of MCC Omaha at the time was a master carpenter (hmmmm….)  In honor and “for the greater glory of God” of the occasion, he built MCC Omaha a beautiful altar and matching pulpit.  It served our congregation well for a long time.  But about 4 years ago, our worship style started to change from a “high church” type of service with lots of liturgy, and where liturgy was prime, to a bit of a “lower church” setting… namely a service where worship took on a different role, with less focus on the liturgy.

IMG00001 IMG00002

The need for a large altar and pulpit lessened… we needed a smaller altar.  And we no longer needed a pulpit at all.  Our pastor prefers not to preach from a pulpit but to walk out amongst the congregation.  I digress.  The stately altar and pulpit were dismantled by myself and a couple of helpers, and found it’s way in to storage… split up between church facilities and Scott’s and my storage unit.  We (the church collectively) set out to find a new home for this furniture.

Eventually, a new home was found in Great Falls, Montana.  There is a long line of support between the two locations – Omaha and Great Falls – and the two cities have shared heritages.  Both are on the Missouri River, both were visited by, and have interest in, the Lewis & Clark expedition.  But, of course, there was a problem.  The two units were VERY large, and VERY heavy.  While each could be broken down into 4 pieces, each piece required two persons to carry it (ok, 4 of the pieces can be carried by 1 person, but just barely!)  How do 2 financially strapped congregations get these units to their new home?  The answer was to be personal delivery!

And so, on Sunday, June 21, the 8 pieces of the altar and pulpit came together one last time.  Pastor Tom preached a final sermon that Sunday from the stately pulpit.  He pounded on it as any good fire and brimstone preacher ought… and promptly startled himself by the noise!  Then, Wednesday night (June 24th), at our weekly ReCharge! service, we gathered to dedicate these two items to a new purpose, the service of a sister congregation.  At communal prayer time, we prayed for the intentions, not of our own people, but of the wonderful people of Great Falls.  At communion, we went forward, received communion, then each, one at a time, walked up and laid hands first on the altar, then on the pulpit.  Our pastor anointed the altar and the pulpit, and then anointed 4 individuals, Scott, Carla, Sharon and myself.  And finally we read from 1 Thessalonians… in a slightly different way:

Paul, Silas and Timothy, To the church of the Thessalonians .. No!  MCC Omaha, to the church in Montana, MCC Montana… in God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ:
Grace and peace to you.
We always thank God for all of you, mentioning you in our prayers. We continually remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.

After the service, the altar and pulpit were once again dismantled, and each piece lovingly wrapped in plastic.  They were loaded on to Scott’s and my truck, and 2 pieces were loaded on to Carla & Sharon’s truck.

On Thursday morning, Scott, Carla, Sharon and I set off to drive the 1100 miles to Great Falls, Montana.  It was a BEAUTIFUL trip.  Hot, of course.  Humid, oh yes!  At least until we arrived in Sheridan, Wyoming, where we spent the night.  From then on the humidity was less potent.

The drive itself was unremarkable.  We made good time.  We encountered no storms… which was good.  Because though wrapped lovingly in plastic, that plastic did not survive the ravages of wind!  Before we even got out of Iowa into South Dakota, the plastic on those items packed in our truck was shredded, flapping in the wind!

In Sheridan, we covered the truck bed with a tarp.  It lasted exactly 1/2 of a mile before blowing off.  We stopped, retied it, better this time.  And by the time we’d arrived in Billings, Montana, the tarp too was shredded.  And it was beginning to rain.  So, we stopped in at the Home Depot, and I bought the super duper ultra heavy duty vinyl tarp.  That made it about 50 miles up the road before IT TOO was shredded!  Fortunately, we encountered no more rain, and everything and everyone arrived safely in the church in Montana.

Saturday morning, we unloaded, reassembled the altar and pulpit.  Then, we went sight-seeing!

Sunday we attended worship with our new friends.  We assisted in their own “setting the altar” ceremony, a very moving ceremony to me.  As we began the service, both the altar and the pulpit were barren.  Then, their worship leader read the following as each item was processed in by a member of the congregation:

*  *  *  *  *

The altar linens are red, because red is a color of celebration and passion.  We remember the passion of our Lord Jesus Christ as we celebrate and accept the generous gift given in love by our friends in Omaha.

The candles used in the first services of MCC in Great Falls were these stained glass replica candle holders.  We bring these to this altar in order to remember our roots and where we came from. [Note from Eric – this is where I started tearing up]

The original cup and plate used in MCC Great Falls were these simple pottery pieces.  They are now cracked and chipped and remind us of the wandering in the desert of our spiritual ancestors.  Their temple tent was packed up and moved and reset at each new camp.  Our church met in the Performing Arts Center and each Sunday everything had to be unpacked and set up and at the close of service, it all had to be re-packed, much like the Israelites did in the desert.

The crystal cups are a blessing from a couple in this church who dared to dream that some day, we would have a better church building and then persevered and realized this dream when we moved in to this building.

[At this time, a faint drumming could be heard.] From our Native American sisters and brothers we bring forth a drum.  This helps us to keep centered and balanced spiritually.

The eagle feather symbolizes spiritual vision in the Native tradition.  Let this remind us of our dreams for this church and its outreach to everyone who has been left out of other spiritual traditions.

The sage smudge is to ask for protection over this altar, pulpit, building and congregation.  The old altar is smudged first and then the new altar to help transfer the spiritual balance to the new altar.  These two altars will share the same spiritual energy.

[For those who might not know, smudging is akin to incensing… Steven, a member of their congregation, and a member of the Blackfeet tribe, came forward with another man who was carrying an abalone shell with sweet sage burning in it.  Steven used an eagle feather to “fluff'” or smudge the smoke from the burning sage towards the old altar (set up in the back of the church)  then towards the congregation as they processed up, and then, on arriving in front of the church, all around the new altar and the new pulpit.]

*  *  *  *  *

And then at noon, we immediately started the trip home.

We drove until midnight, arriving in Scottsbluff, Nebraska.  Monday, we left at 8 a.m., and arrived at church at 5:30, in time to attend our CLM class.

And that’s the end… except this is all interlude!

Tomorrow, Scott and I are driving to Branson, Missouri, for the Hays Family Reunion!

I sure hope to blog from there!

Category: Our Life Together, Our Travels, Spirituality  | One Comment
clm stuff
May 05th, 2009 | Author: Eric Hays-Strom

One of the things I’ve heard over and over… and it’s generally a truism… is that we shouldn’t let what others think of us worry us.

And yet, I think it’s pretty obvious that is easier said than done!  For better or worse, unless one is willing to completely disengage from the world, what others think about us does influence us and does impact us.  This came home to me this week as part of our latest assignments in “Creating a Life that Matters”, the class that Scott and I are taking through our Church.

As part of the homework last week, we were asked to consider every person in our class, and to write down two words for each of them.  The first word was to be an emotion that the individual invokes in us when we see them.  The second word was to be an essence or quality that the individual brings to our community or our church.

In class last night, we wrote these words down on a sticky note, and then attached that sticky to a sheet of paper for each individual so that they could see these words… though not necessarily who put those words down.  And so, I got to see what others think of me.  In a way, it was an eye opener!

Now first of all, some of the emotion “words” aren’t really “emotions”, as such.  But they are all feeling words.

The emotions I elicit in others are: confidence, tranquility, good, friendship/family/love, awakened, knowledge joy, happy, serious & gentle.  In addition, two individuals said hesitance, hesitation.  Those last two really threw me off!  To be quite honest, they effected me enough that I was unable to complete the remainder of the exercise!  But I think it’s probably true.  There are times I arrive at church, and my “shields” are completely down, I’m approachable, and outgoing.  Other times, those “shields” are at maximum… a proton torpedo could never penetrate!  I’m not really sure what to do about that.  Some days I feel in a very friendly, outgoing, even “pranksterish” mood.  Other days, I’m serious and withdrawn.  My own emotions are pretty much a badge on my sleeve.  People can see very much where I am.  But folks might not really “see” that badge until we actually interact.  The fact of the matter is, when I’m in the "outgoing” mood, I welcome people to jump in and join with me!  And even more important, when I’m in the serious/withdrawn mood, what I really would welcome is for people NOT to honor that mood, but to just challenge me on my behavior… again, I know that’s easier said than done!

The qualities that people feel I bring to our church and community really kind of surprised me, but for some reason, I really don’t have any problem “owning” them!  I may disagree with some, but I can see how/why others might see these in me.  Spirituality (3 people), intelligence (2), knowledge (2), strength, listening, faith, authenticity, enlightenment.  I wonder if the “authenticity” isn’t tied in with the “hesitancy” issue.  I seldom, if ever, hide myself from others.  When I’m in a bad mood, I don’t hide it!  I feel no desire at church to pretend to be what someone else thinks I should be as a Christian or as anything else.  I am, ultimately, who I am.  Others need to accept that or get out of my way!  When I feel something, when I experience something, I will express that.  Sometimes, later, I’ll come back and apologize for that… if I truly feel an apology is warranted.  Though, I do think I have learned, by and large, to try to avoid hurting others in my “in-your-face-ness”.  Sometimes, I just don’t succeed!

There’s a lot of good in those qualities.  And in fact, there’s a lot of good in the emotions I elicit in others.  I think, as I evaluate them all, I can “own” all of them!  And, knowing the two “negatives”, if negative they are, and to the degree that they ARE negative, is good, too.  Without sacrificing my “authenticity”, I can strive to help others feel less “hesitant”.

At least, I hope I can!

Category: Eric's Life, Spirituality  | 2 Comments
weekly clm assignment
April 20th, 2009 | Author: Eric Hays-Strom

This is my “homework” for week two of “Rediscovering Relationship with Self”.

Reflect and Journal about an experience when you worked in a spiritual gift area that is one of your LOWEST scored areas.  What did it feel like to work in that arena? Was it frustrating to try to arrive at a successful outcome?

Last week, part of our assignment was to take a “Spirituality Inventory”, which addressed 25 “spiritual gifts”.  The highest score possible for a gift was a 15.  The lowest possible score was a big fat 0.  On eight of the gifts, I scored a 6 or less.  The lowest scoring gifts for me were celibacy and tongues which each scored ZERO. I got a 2 in healing, and a 4 in hospitality.  Other areas in which I received low scores are:  Apostle, Mercy, Multi-Cultural Ministry, and Prophetic Teaching.

So… I’m trying to remember EVER working in one of those areas! 

I suppose I can recall two experiences/jobs working in areas for which I had a low score.  But as I address these here, I have to begin with the observation that there are numerous things that impact these spirituality inventories.  I’ve been taking them for over 20 years.  Spiritual Gifts change.  Or at least some of them do.  Some gifts may remain high throughout our life; some gifts may be given us by God at a particular time to accomplish a particular thing.  For everything there is a season…  Furthermore, moods that we are in can impact our answers.  As can emotional states.  And, frankly, most questions in these inventories have an implied answer if one knows where to look.

For instance, twenty years ago, taking one of these inventories I would have answered that celibacy was relatively high in the scorings.  I wanted to be accepted to seminary; I wanted to be a priest; I wanted to run/hide from my own knowledge of who and what I am; and I believed what I was told about being Gay being hated by God. 

And so, I spent two years “working in a spiritual gift area” that was, at the time scoring high, but in reality, looking back over my life, about as low scoring as you can get!  Was it frustrating?  Oh, yeah!  It was just plain wrong of me to work in that area.  It felt horrible!

Perhaps a slightly better example was when I worked for a semester in Hospital Ministry.  I don’t recall what my "healing/mercy” scores were back at that time.  Today they’re pretty low.  I ASKED to work in Hospital Ministry.  I thought it would be a good experience.  I was wrong.  It was my job to go to the rooms of patients, and, well, minister to them.  I think all in all it was a good experience for me, stretched my horizons, as I hoped it would.  And the experience taught me that hospital ministry was just not the place for me.  It was so hard to go into those rooms, talking to people I didn’t know, people suffering and frightened.  Far from putting them at ease, they or their families, often had to put ME at ease!  I honestly don’t know who was more frightened!   Fortunately for me, my supervisor soon picked up on my weakness.  She assigned me to one particular patient, a young man with AIDS, a young man who could not make the trip in to the hospital, and so I would go to his house.  We got along fine, I wasn’t frightened, I enjoyed the experience, and to be honest, was ministered to far more than I ministered. 

Journal about an experience when you worked in a spiritual gift area that is one of your HIGHEST scored areas.  What was that like?  How did it feel to work within and succeed in that area?

My highest scores (12 and above – none received a 15) from highest to lowest are in Giving, Knowledge,  Martyrdom, Wisdom and Teaching.  About that Martyrdom, go figure!

When it comes to teaching, I can’t really figure that one out, any more than I can figure out why I score so high in Martyrdom.  I’m an impatient teacher, at best.  To the extent that teaching involves public speaking, I’m horrible!  And when it comes to hands on teaching, well, I’m not too good at that, either.  Knowledge and wisdom, in this context have to do with things of a spiritual nature.  I’m not sure I could say I’ve ever actually worked in these areas!

But giving, while “working in this area” is somewhat problematic, it is an undeniable gift for Scott and I both.  We firmly believe that all our income is a gift from God, and as such is not to be horded.  About five years ago, Scott and I made a conscious decision that we would “work towards” giving a tithe, and in short order had rearranged our living to accommodate this.  We gladly give 10% of all income that comes our way… a little more in fact.  On top of that, we’ve been able to see needs at church and meet those needs… gifts above and beyond our weekly giving.  Sometimes well beyond.  A total look at tax time at our levels of giving show that combined we give closer to 15% of our gross to our church.  I’m a bit less charitable towards non-church related causes.

I truly enjoy being blessed enough to give at the levels that I do.  I know that in doing so, I enable our church to more fully reach out to the needs of our community.  Our gifts, together with many other peoples, enables our church to reach out and minister not only to the spiritual needs, but the physical as well, of people living with HIV and AIDS, to the homeless, and to the many disenfranchised members of our society.  It feels good!

This is a current area that maximizes my use of my strongest gift.  Even with my own sense of connectedness to our church and indeed to God, I continue to work in this area.  It feeds my soul, it strengthens my faith.  It builds me up even while benefiting and building up the church.  I’m pleased beyond measure that Scott and I while not lessening our giving by 1 cent, are no longer even close to being the only significant supporters of our church, and I can pray and praise God that others find joy, partly through our example, partly through a competitive desire, have found joy and blessing in abundant giving to God through MCC Omaha.

Category: Eric's Life, Spirituality  | Comments off
Assignment 2
April 13th, 2009 | Author: Eric Hays-Strom

In our “Creating a Life that Matters” class that Scott and I are taking through our church, we have weekly homework.  This class is conducted in three “courses” (“Rediscovering Relationship With the Sacred”, “Rediscovering Relationship With Myself”, and “Rediscovering Relationship With my Passion”)  of 6 sessions each.  We completed the first course a few weeks ago.  Tonight we completed session 1 of the second course, “Rediscovering Relationship With Myself”.  The homework varies from week to week.  The first session had one assignment that involved journaling.  I wrote about that first assignment here.

This week’s assignment also asks us to journal.  We’ve read a piece from Care of the Soul by Thomas Moore.  The following three questions are what we are to write about.

  • Where do I come from?
  • Who am I and who am I not?
  • What might I do to strengthen the connections among the physical, emotional, and spiritual dimensions of myself?

I fear that the reading does not provide much guidance for answering most of these questions.  So, I’m on my own!

Where do I come from?
I think there are several answers to this question; they are not mutually exclusive.  First of all, I come from God.  I believe all of us are, whether or not we choose to acknowledge or believe this. 

And I know it sounds strange, but I come from stardust.  I think we all do.  The stuff of which we are comprised, the basic atoms and molecules have been here since before here was, and will continue after we are no longer here.

I come from Iowa/Nebraska.  I come from Bonnie Yates Strom and Louis Strom.  I am from Swedish, German, English, and a host of other nationalities.

And finally, for this journal anyhow, I come from 50 years of experiences that have created in me pain and ecstasy; happiness and sorrow; hope and at the same time a sense of hopelessness.  “I can do all things in God…” and nothing I ever do will change anything.

Who am I and who am I not?
The questions get harder!  Once upon a time in a land not so far distant from here/now I could have taken a stab at answering that more fully than I can today.  So much water under the bridge of life over the years though has taken it’s toll on my self knowledge.  I wonder these days, just who am I?  And because I do not know who I am, I have even more problems answering who I am not.

I suspect that to some extent my confusion on this matter stems from loss.  Things I’ve lost in life have robbed me of self-identity or more to the point, self-knowledge.

I am no longer employed.  I no longer serve in a leadership role at church, having chosen to rip those roles from myself.  I am no longer involved in the “international” retreat organization which I lead for some years… mainly because I lost to some degree my belief in that.  And the greatest lost, which contributed to much of those things I “am no longer”, is the loss of identity in relationship to God.

When I could put a label on my spirituality, on the way in which I believe in God, I could identify TO God.  In a very real sense, I lost God.

I need to label the compartments of my life.  I just realized that as I was writing the above.  Without labels, I am nothing!  At least can identify with nothing.  And if I can not identify with anything, then I can not know who I am – or who I am not.

I doubt much that anyone ever had any illusions that I “had it all together”, least of all myself.  But now, what togetherness I had is ripped from me.

Yeah, I’m skirting the issue of what it is that I am thinking.  Because, having made the decision to post this in my blog, and knowing who reads my blog, all of a sudden I’m fearful!  There are people who read this blog that matter much to me, and I want to keep the curtain between who I think they perceive me to be and who it is, or what it is, that I’m skirting.  Ahem, you know know who you are.

See, it’s like this.  I have lost my experience of my faith in God.  I don’t know how else to say that.  Once I could label my experience of that faith as Catholic.  I can do so no longer.  Once I could label myself as a “sort of rebellious evangelical type”, but I can do so no longer.  Once I could say comfortably to myself “I know who God is”.  I can do so no longer.  I honestly don’t know who/what God is.  I could blame the author of a book I once read; I could blame a spiritual director at a monastery I visited a few years ago; I could probably blame a bunch of others; but it’s on me.

See, God once upon a time made the Divine Presence known to me.  God made Himself known to me.  In many ways, small and large, I knew God’s Presence.  In the way a breeze caressed me.  In the way the atmosphere changed.  In the way God spoke to me.  But it’s been a very long time since I’ve experienced that.  I’ve tried so many things to recover that sense of God.  I have to content myself in struggling to be faithful and to acquiesce that, with or without experience, God exists.

You see, my life has been so wrapped up in God, and in my faith, and in the experience of that faith, that with it all gone, I don’t know who I am, any longer.  And worse, I don’t know who I’m not.

What might I do to strengthen the connections among the physical, emotional, and spiritual dimensions of myself?
Like the question of who I am and who I am not, this question asks of me something I can not provide.  The soul is utterly unique to each of us.  It arises from, and informs who we are.  It is that point within us at which our unique “usness” meets the Divine.  To paraphrase Thomas Moore’s reading for today, if I don’t know who I am not, I risk filling my soul with that which is bogus. And when that occurs, my soul has no way to present what is ultimately real of me.

So, what CAN I do to strengthen these connections?  I can but continue to strive to sustain the faith I do have; to continue to seek the label-less me, though of course, when I do ultimately find that, it will no longer be label-less.  Muscles unused wither, atrophy.  Faith not exercised also will atrophy.  Muscles are supported by our skeletal structure and our tendons.  The experience of my faith that is now lost was the skeletal structure and the tendons which sustained and supported my faith.  Without it, I don’t know how to sustain this faith.  But, of course, as all analogies must, the whole thing falls apart here for me, because a body without skeleton or tendons becomes a puddle of goo, whereas my faith, without the experience of that faith, can and will remain strong.  Perhaps it is the power of mind which sustains that faith that becomes surrogate skeleton and tendon.

In which case, I’m in deep doo doo!

Category: Ramblings, Spirituality, Stayings at home  | Comments off
First Assignment
February 12th, 2009 | Author: Eric Hays-Strom

After I left the seminary, I walked away from the Catholic Church.  By 1996 it was quite obvious to me that there was no place at the table for me.  Additionally, there was no way my partner, who had grown up Baptist, and then spent some time with the AOG church, could ever be happy in catholicism.  At that time, he was living just 1 block from the local MCC congregation.  I had, in my last semester in the seminary, discovered the MCC denomination.  It seemed the obvious fit for both of us.

At first I was a bit dubious; I was still operating under some “catholic baggage”, namely whether I would admit it consciously, there was still part of me that bought in to the “one true church” bullshit espoused by that church.  And so, as I entered the MCC I kept thinking at a not so subconscious level  that they were just playing church.  But, as time went by I began to more and more embrace the theology of the MCC.  In time I became more and more involved, finally stepping in to leadership positions by 2000.

Then, in 2007, things changed.  I’ve tried exploring just what it was that impacted me so much, but have never really come up with a satisfactory reason.  In any event, the result was that by November of ’07 I’d pulled back from any leadership role.  And, in February 2008, I withdrew completely from the church for a while.  It was a short term hiatus; I began attending regularly again in May.  But my attendance can best be described as indifferent.  I came to church, sat in the pews… okay, chairs.  I went through the motions (still do, for the most part) then went home.  My passion for MCC, or church in general, just did not return.  Indeed, my passion for God just hasn’t returned.

It was because of this that I signed up for a class at church, feeling it was time to get involved again… involved in anything.  The class is called CLM… Creating a Life that Matters.  We’ve had two classes so far.  The first class was comprised mostly of “housekeeping” stuff – the rules we all agree to conduct ourselves by – and getting to know one another.

The second class has to do with “Bring Many Names”.  And there’s homework!  And it is THAT homework that has me writing this today.  The remainder of this blog post will be my homework assignment.  The assignment is to write a journal entry on the topic:

“Write about the first time you had an experience of the Sacred”

June of 1961 is shrouded in the mists of time for me.  I was a mere three years old.  But there is an experience from that year that has stuck with me, clear as the moon this morning.  In that month, my mom and dad took my two older brothers on a vacation to the Black Hills of South Dakota, and northwestern Nebraska.  For whatever reason, it was determined that I was too young for that trip.  I was heartbroken.  Well, I would have been heartbroken, anyhow, if it hadn’t been for the great adventure I was to have in their absence!  My paternal grandmother was to stay with me and I doted on her! 

In those days, we were living in a new home in Omaha.  We had an air conditioner, but it was to be used only on the hottest of days.  That June was hot.  And unlike many late spring days, the heat lasted in to the night.  Grandma Strom was not one to waste money on air-conditioning.  And so, after playing outside for much of the day, I was given a bath and sent to bed in a hot bedroom.  The only concession to the heat was an open window and the rare permission to sleep without my pajama tops.

Summer SunsetMy bedroom window faced east, and I can remember lying in bed across from the window,looking out in to the fading light of evening.  Sounds from the kitchen indicated Grandma was busy washing dishes and putting the room back in order.  I was restless, as little boys usually are at bedtime.  There was no brooking crying or tantrums, though.  Grandma came from sturdy German and Swedish background.  When it was time for bed, a little one had darn well better go to bed!  So, I lay in my bed, watching the growing shadows, striving to find some comfort, some coolness in the hot air of my room.

And then, the curtains twitched, and then fluttered.  A gentle breeze blew in through the open window, a cool breeze.  The breeze caressed my bared chest, bringing relief from the heat.

As I revelled in the sweet coolness, I slowly grew to an awareness.  This breeze was different, it seemed to me, than any other breeze.  I began to talk to the breeze, thanking it for its gentleness and for the relief it brought.  It seemed to me that it, too, spoke with me.  It spoke calming words; words of love, words of peace, words of friendship.  It was as if the breeze was saying to me “Be at peace; you are loved.  I am with you. I will always be with you.”

For some time we spoke together.  In truth, as clear as that evening is in my thoughts, I don’t recall the content of that conversation.  I just recall that I was somehow aware of the experience being something sacred, though I certainly had no idea of the meaning of that word… or even it’s existence!  I just knew it was special.

The grace of that twilight experience remained with me.  That breeze returned frequently during my life, though the frequency of that experience dwindled over time as I grew up, maturing in to the man I am today.  But even so, every now and then I’ll stop my activity, and an awareness will grow within me that once again I am in the presence of that breeze, that special loving breeze.  In the Presence of “My Friend the Breeze.”

Category: Spirituality, Stayings at home  | 3 Comments