A New Word Dawns

25. April 2012 · 2 comments · Categories: 2012 Resolution, Eric's Life

Today has been a good day! It’s been a long day, too. And it’s been a tiring day.

Today started before the usual time for me, at 2:45 give or take a few blurs. That’s when I awake to Ixchel crawling all over me. She doesn’t move from the center of the bed around the top of my head or past my feet.  No, Ixchel believes in the direct approach.  Over my face, or my chest.  As I wake, I am aware of an eerie presence. I sense movement.  I drift back to sleep.

Thirty minutes pass and, once again, I wake to that sense that I am not alone in the room. It whines, then, a low soft sound expressing a sorrow that seems to come from the depth of the ages. I crawl out of bed, pick up Ixchel and stumble to the door.  Nikki follows close behind. She, it would seem, is the source of the whining.  I shuffle down the stairs, slipping, nearly falling. Out the back door we flee; Ixchel and Nikki promptly take care of their pressing needs, then sniff the flowers and the dirt clods. “Really?” I moan, “It’s 3 friggin’ 30 in the morning! Can’t you sniff at a more reasonable hour?” They both look up at me and bound for the door. I turn to go inside. I step on a rock.

Turning out the lights, we make our way back up stairs, and Nikki heads directly for the shelter of her “under the bed” safe room. Picking up Ixchel, I toss her unceremoniously on the bed, then crawl beneath the sheets. I hold the sheet up for her, and she deftly burrows to her spot by Scott’s back. Rolling over I face the windows, and look out to the street beyond them, the gray foreboding hulk of the houses across the street just visible in the darkness.  I take one last look at the clock, 3:35 am.  I shut my eyes.

And hear IT. Thunk. Click. Thunk. Snik. This is followed by a “zooothssssh” like sound and another THUNK! I open my eyes, and look around. Nothing. But that sense that we are not alone, my canines, Scott and I. Silence. A whine. Thunk. Snik. Zooothssssh. Silence.

Ixchel pops her head above the sheets.

YAP!

YAPYAPYAPYAPYAPYAP!

Thunk, Snik, Zooothssssh. Yap

Whine.

And I see it! The Bat of Doom! I flick on the light, jump to my feet and run for the bedroom door, hoping, praying… can I escape it? Will it get me? Will THIS be the night!

Scott turns and looks at me.  ”Bat?”

“Yes, THE Bat, it’s come!”

“Oh.” Soft snores emanate from his corner of the bed. Sigh. No help there.

I turn off the ceiling fan (they interfere with a bat’s navigatory skills). Moments later the bat flies out the door.  I slam the door!

Safe at last I crawl back in to bed. Once more, I hold the sheet high for Ixchel to return to her nest, then turn to face the window. Again I look at the clock. 3:45 am. I close my eyes. I roll on to my back, opening my eyes and stare at the ceiling. I roll on to my stomach. Now I turn to face the center of the bed, then immediately back to the window. Sometime around 4:40 I fall asleep.

At 5:01 the alarm goes off. Time to face another day. We snooze, Scott, the girls and I, until 5:30 most mornings. But at 5:02, shortly after Scott hits the snooze button, I hear it.

Thunk. Snik. Zooothssssh.

Groaning I return to the door, turn off the ceiling fan, pull the door open and hit the light. The bat has returned to the room. Scott reluctantly crawls from the bed, we snatch Ixchel from the sheets, and turn for the door.  The bat flies ahead of us, out the door and into the bathroom.  By 5:20, it has been consigned to the bathroom. I shut the bathroom door.

The day has begun.

I’m a bit groggy. But, we’re no worse the wear from our bat-encounter. I mean, I do seem to be feeling a bit photophobic today.

And the scent of blood is powerfully strong.  Smells oddly…. delicious…

And that Damn bat escaped.

Lent 2012 – Good Friday

06. April 2012 · Comments Off · Categories: 2012 Resolution, Eric's Life, Lent 2012, Spirituality

Remember the Reason for the Season!

I’ve heard that one a lot, haven’t you?  It comes around twice each year.  Every fall, folks fall all over themselves to remind us to remember the reason for the season… And that’s good.  I don’t mean to sound as though we SHOULDN’T be reminded to remember the reason.  It’s so easy to fall into the traps of thinking that Christmas is about the snow and sleigh rides (never been on one), or the christmas lights and decorations, and most problematic, the gifts.  Both the ones we give, and the ones we receive.  Perhaps for some of us, it’s more about the ones we receive.  We DO need to remember the reason for the season.  It’s about Jesus.  It’s about Jesus’ coming among us.  It’s about the GIFT God gave us, the GIFT of God’s own Son, the GIFT of Jesus, Himself.  As an aside, do you get giddy at Christmas thinking about that special gift you got that someone special in your life??? Giggle, perhaps, while wrapping it?  Feel like you’re bursting at the seams waiting for Special Someone to open it?  Do you wonder if that’s how God felt in those days leading up to the birth of Jesus?  I’ll bet it was.

So, too, at Easter, as we dye our eggs, and prepare our easter baskets, and then eat our chocolate bunnies or Peeps (may I just say here, “eeww”?).  For us in this overly hyped and marketed era it’s so easy to forget what the real reason for the season is!  It’s the bunnies!  Of course!  Well, of course, it ISN’T!  Once again, it’s about Jesus.  The real reason for the season is Jesus: the work wrought on our behalf, the suffering, the death, and most importantly, the resurrection.  I can never forget that THIS is the reason for the season.  That Jesus, God’s free and overly abundant Gift of Love to Humankind, didn’t just come to dwell amongst us and teach us, but to suffer, die and resurrect on our behalf.  Think though, for one minute about this little truth: in a way, the Reason for the Season of Easter… is us.  Humanity.

We have come now, in our Journey through Lent to a dark place.  We have, some of us, given up something that was, at least in theory, special to us.  Or we have taken on some new task, some new discipline.  Whether giving up or taking on, we did so to help us to remember, to relive, to recall the One who Took Up for us, and Laid Down for us.  We attempted to join in a special way, as special as we are capable of, the suffering and the task of Him Who Saves.

And now, we are come to Good Friday.  In some way, today we should consider that we recollect today that we, as apostles and disciples of Jesus, are plunged in to darkness.  The Light that came into the world on Christmas Day has been extinguished, the Morning Star has set.  Do we as Christians look forward to “the third day”, knowing the Sun will Rise, more glorious than before?

Well, yes, of course we do.  But, I think if we allow ourselves to do so too much, we lose touch with what TODAY is.  TODAY it is dark.  TODAY is dark.  Can the brilliance of the “third day” mean anything to us, truly, if first we do not embrace what today is?  What today means?  I’m not sure.  I don’t have that answer.

But I think that for a time at least, I shall consider that, and try to put myself in the shoes of those FIRST apostles and disciples.  My everything is gone.

And it is dark.  A dark no words can describe.

Lent 2012 – Day 44 (Thursday)

05. April 2012 · Comments Off · Categories: 2012 Resolution, Eric's Life, Lent 2012, Ramblings

Well, we’re in the final stretch for Holy Week.  Lent is nearly over.  Easter is around the corner.  And it’s time for “Eric’s Newslets” once again (see my post of March 14 for my first newslets post.)

  • The day I posted my last post about the dog, I arrived home and found the my passport had arrived!  All the stress and worry about it turned out to be for naught.  I’m going to England as Eric Louis Hays-Strom!
  • Ixchel seems to have recuperated from her little fright, so that much is good!
  • The weather did not remain quite so ‘summer-like’ as my last post indicated.  We had more hot days, of course, and some chilly ones.  But the chilly ones are appropriate to this year.  Monday this week, though, our bedroom was 90 degrees at bed time!  EEeeeeyuck!  And of course, I slept fitfully, so the dogs tricked me into taking them out at 3:30 am, and that meant I couldn’t fall asleep again because over night the temperature started dropping.  So I had to close the windows because it was getting COLD in the room… and when I closed the windows a BAT flew out of the curtain and hit my arm.  So then I lay awake worrying about the bat.  But eventually I fell asleep.
  • Related to the first news item, Scott and I are busy drawing up plans for our trip to England!  So far, I’m going to a wedding, on a pub crawl, to see Sweeney Todd, then to Cornwall, with stops at Avesbury and Stonehenge.  Maybe up to Ipswitch (that one is on again/off again.)

Guess that’s the end of the little newsy stories.  There’s one other thing.  Over the years I’ve been interested in walking… going back now over 7 or 8 years.  I get really into it, and then slow down, then don’t bother for a while, then get back into it.  I always like the way I feel when I’m “into” walking.  You may recall a couple of years ago, when I first got my job at DOTCOMM, I got into a challenge with some of my friends… we never finished it.  It petered out.

Well, I’m back to walking again.  But no challenges this time.  At least none that my friends can participate in.  I’ve decided to challenge myself.  I am going to see how long it takes me to walk from Point Lobos, San Francisco, CA to Boston, MA.  Then I’ll hop over the Atlantic, and walk from Land’s End, Sennen, UK to John O’Groats, Scotland.  And then, I’ll mysteriously appear in Brest, France, and walk across Europe to the Pacific, and then from the north of Japan to the south.

And I’ll walk all those miles… 13,735 miles, to be exact… without ever leaving the US!  It’s a virtual walk!  Then, when I realized how long that’ll take, I decided to include all the miles I have walked since the beginning of my challenge in 2010.  In the past 2 years, then, I’ve walked from Point Lobos in San Francisco all the way to Marion, SD.  Yeah, I thought I’d take the more northern route offered me by maps.google.com.  Just out of curiosity, though, I checked in to see how far that would be if I’d come out I80… I’d be in Seward today.  That’s 1,634 miles.

Now, if I walk 2.75 miles per day, on average, I should get to the end of my destination by April 22, 2024.  I can do that, right?

Hello?  HELLO?!?!?  Huh, I think I lost everyone…

Lent 2012 – Day 34 (Monday)

26. March 2012 · 2 comments · Categories: 2012 Resolution, Eric's Life, Lent 2012, Pets

I have a sunburn.  In March.  We mowed the lawn Sunday, and then hosed down the driveway (an annual tradition).  In March.  Our bedroom was 80 degrees when we went to bed last night.  In March.  We’ve not shut our bedroom windows (all three of them) in over two weeks.  In March.  Ixchel caught several earthworms this weekend.  Highly ACTIVE earthworms.  So active, I didn’t know they could move that fast!  In March.  In Council Bluffs.  In March.  I went outside in running shorts and tshirt at 5:30 am.  In March.

In case it isn’t obvious, I’m a bit stunned by the weather we’re having this year.  In March!

So, Saturday was a big day!  Nikki got her quarterly bath (and whew, did she NEED it!) and nail clipping.  It’s always a traumatic experience for her, she hates the groomer, she hates the bath, she hates having her pawses messed with.

And Saturday was also the big “Marco/Polo Family Reunion” at the St. Joseph’s Villa Retirement community in South Omaha.  Marco is the daddy to three litters of Dachshund puppies.  Polo is… you guessed it… the Mama to three litters of Dachshund puppies.  The two of them and at least 9 of the puppies from those litters gathered at the Villa (where the Mama’s Mama works, as well as our friend Juline who introduced us to Mama’s Mama).  The Villa is very pet friendly.  We met the resident Black Lab who came when her mommy came for Hospice.  The only way she’d consent to go to hospice was if her dog could be with her.  After she died, only a few days later, the Villa allowed the dog to stay.  Soon thereafter, a woman was admitted to the Villa who was very depressed at having to leave her home, and sank into a “funk”, wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t talk, just sat in her chair with her head bowed.  Then Bella, (the black lab) who was also mourning and depressed, came up to her one day.  Well, to make this shorter, the lady is now very happy, and has a forever doggy!

We all had a great time chatting getting to know each other, while all 9 puppies and Marco and Polo all romped and played in the courtyard.  Might I just say that one could always find Ixchel because one merely had to look at the pack of dogs, then follow it to the front of the pack, and there she was, leading them all (not always to good places!)

A lot of the residents came out in to the courtyard to watch, and puppies went and introducted themselves and got lots of petting and “ohhs!” and “Awwweee!s” and “How preciouses”.  Several had tears in their eyes.  Many would say “We had a dachshund” with that far off, happy memory way of recollecting that we get when we have fond memories.  Many of us confessed that we were “Big dog people” who fell head over heels in love with these little creatures!

Alas, for Ixchel, it was not a 100% happy day.  Toward the end of the 2 hour event she had… an experience.  There was a woman there with her 2 small children and her bigger dog.  She didn’t have one of the Marco/Polo pups, but had been invited as a friend of one of the people who was there.  She kept a very close rein on her children… until the end.  Her little boy, about 3 or maybe 4 years old, set his sights on Ixchel, put his arms up like a scare monster, fingers curled in to claws, let out a “ROOAAAAAHHHRRRRRR!” and started stomping and running towards my litte princess!  I stood transfixed with horror, too far away from her to help her as the little monster (and I DO mean that affectionately) came at her.  She rolled over in submission, peed a little and was horribly frightened.

Mother called her son back to her, and scolded him.  And Ixchel jumped to her feet, looked around for the nearest of Scott or me… and ran straight to me. I picked her up and she shook a little.

It was clear from what I heard that Mother had warned him up front how to behave around puppies and dogs, and had told him the ramifications of misbehaving… which was he was to be removed from the event.  And that’s what she did, to much howling and yelling by little boy!

Now, less you think otherwise, let me be clear here.  Little boys will be little boys.  I hold no animosity towards little boy OR towards mother.  I would have stopped her and told her it was okay, but this was obviously a teaching moment for the little boy, and mother quite obviously had things in hand.  I was concerned that to interfere would have been improper, and threatening of her teaching and disciplinary authority.  In retrospect, and after it was too late, I do wish I had asked her before she left if she’d let her little boy come to Ixchel and pet him sweetly and calmly – with my very close supervision of both, naturally!  I didn’t.

Ixchel has never met a person in her life that she was afraid of and who she didn’t want to greet… enthusiasically so!  Whenever we go someplace and people don’t come to her she yips and yelps and barks and is very obviously saying “Hey, come play with me! Ilikeyou! Ilikeyou! Ilikeyou!”

After the party, we took Ixchel and went to PetSmart to pick up Nikki.  There, as we headed towards the front door, a family came out with a little boy about the same size and age as the boy at the party.  Ixchel took one look, stepped back, growled low, then started barking menacingly.  We snatched her up and escorted her past the family (who ignored us, thankfully).

I can see we have our task cut out for us… we now have to reverse the effects of this experience for Ixchel.  It just breaks my heart that my little girl who knew no foe, is now afraid of little children – and that I wasn’t able to protect her! Very not good.

Lent 2012 – Day 22 (Wednesday)

14. March 2012 · Comments Off · Categories: 2012 Resolution, Eric's Life, Lent 2012, Our Life Together, Ramblings

Gosh, over a week since I wrote last.  Lots of “newslets” but nothing really serious to write about!  So, I guess I did not succeed at my hope of writing daily through Lent.  Sigh.

So, let’s go over some of those “newslets” (small newsy type items).  I’m getting a triple root canal today.  One tooth, 3 nerve channels, 2 of which will be “difficult to drill” – so says my endodontist.  Oh happy day. :|

Of course, the Heartland, where I live, is known for its wicked winters, bitter cold, snow, wind, grey skies.  It’s why Scott and I are so excited about our move to New Mexico next year.  This winter, I just don’t know if it’ll ever end!  We’re suffering through bitter, 80 degree days in early March, gentle balmy breezes, sunlit skies.  Oh, the misery. :|

This is the year that Scott and I do major house work.  Not the dusting and window-washing.  The “install sump pump in basement ($3000), shore up soon to collapse rear retaining wall (was $3000, now looks closer to $6000), shore up sagging soon to collapse HOUSE ($6000), paint exterior of house (eh, never mind the cost – you really don’t want to know)” kind of house work!  Oh, and then, once THAT all is done, we can start on the infamous bathroom!  Actually, the bathroom is only waiting on the sagging house repair.

Yeah, about the sagging house.  Ever since we moved in, some doors in our house just do not close!  Someone suggested we just shave down the door… well, in at least one case, that shaving would have to be 1/2 inch!  Last September the engineer took a precursory glance and said “Oh, just jack it up here and here… it’s easy.”  I kept looking at it and thinking “this just isn’t right.  If the sag is HERE where he says, why is their no weight, whatsoever, on this support post that is right here at the same place?”  Finally after looking and looking and looking at the basement, Scott and I figured out the sag and had the engineer back.  He started humming and hawing and oh-mying.  “How old is this house?”  “92 years?  Really?  It should have collapsed during the building phase!”

Yup, looking at the basement we can see major stress points with NO support under them, whatsoever!  It turns out that first of all, we need EIGHT new jack supports in the basement, not two, and secondly, when they put in the sump pump they discovered that our concrete basement floor is only 2 inches thick!  Had we jacked up the basement where he initially told us to, it wouldn’t have supported the weight!  Hence the huge amount of work, and the huge cost accompanying it.

Did I mention I’m getting a bit of dental work done today?

Did I mention that it’s going to be 80 degrees out today (2nd day in a row)?

Lent 2012 – Day 14 (Tuesday)

06. March 2012 · Comments Off · Categories: 2012 Resolution, Eric's Life, Lent 2012, Our Travels, Spirituality

Oh Happy Day!  Today, this wondrous of days… I learned I am soon to be the joyous recipient of not 1, not 2, but 3 – THREE – root canals.  I think actually it still qualifies as only 1 root canal, but the tooth has what appears to be 3 separate channels that will need to be ground out.  And since apparently Iowa makes it virtually impossible for dentists and endodontists to qualify for licensing to use nitrous oxide, instead we will be getting a wonderful pre dose of valium!  Which of course means Scott has to take me.  Just writing about this dental work is giving me a case of shakes.  Ugh.

Scott and I had a very hectic but super-enjoyable weekend.  Between 10 am Saturday and 8 am Monday we drove 1, 127 miles, visited an uncle in Newton, KS, a grandmother’s old digs in Stillwater, OK, as well as her grave, and then experienced a DOUBLE 80th Birthday party, a 60th Anniversary Party AND… a DOUBLE Surprise!  Both Scott’s Aunt Edwina and Uncle Doril celebrated their 80th birthdays this past week as well as their 60th anniversary.  And, when we got to the party we were totally surprised to find that Mudder & Pops (Scott’s parents), along with Terri, Bethany & Eleanor had made the trip from Las Cruces, NM… and they were equally surprised to learn that WE had.  Of course, the surprise then gave rise to the recriminations of “failure to communicate”!  I quickly disavowed myself of any responsibility for said failure.

The party was at 2 pm on Sunday, and was supposed to be done by 4… but we ended up staying for the “after-party” as well, until 6 pm .  We drove through until 12:30 am Monday, arriving in York, NE, where we stayed the night in the Holiday Inn (meh!) We slept 4 hours, then came in to work, arriving a mere 15 minutes late!

I know, not very spiritual of a post today… so be it!  On that front… I got nothin!

Lent 2012 – Day 10 (Friday)

02. March 2012 · 1 comment · Categories: 2012 Resolution, Eric's Life, Lent 2012, Spirituality

He thought then he had chosen a high road and would walk it to the end, whereas I know now that roads choose us and what they unfold before us is not the person we want to be, but the person we already are, the person time slowly discloses to us.

Holloway, Richard (2012-03-01). Leaving Alexandria: A Memoir of Faith and Doubt (pp. 10-11). Canongate Books. Kindle Edition.

Another book I’ve started reading this Lent is “Leaving Alexandria”.  I heard about it the other night listening to a BBC4 program that my cousin Dan recommended to me.  To be honest, I’m not sure what to think about the book yet… I thought it would be a little more theological in nature.  It appears to be an autobiography.  But I’m not too far beyond the 12th page, yet, so I’ll hold off judgement.

The quote above, though, did catch my attention.  It’s an intriquing thought “roads choose us, and… unfold.. the person we already are…”  I think that quote goes hand in hand with yet another quote from that book:

The toughest lesson life teaches is the difference between who you wanted to be and who you actually are.

Holloway, Richard (2012-03-01). Leaving Alexandria: A Memoir of Faith and Doubt (p. 10). Canongate Books. Kindle Edition.

I find this rather poetic, sitting here, thinking back on all the people I thought I wanted to be, seeing the reality of who I am.  I’m not particularly disappointed, mind you, but I’m not what my day dreams led me to think I’d become!

Going to Yukon, OK, this weekend, so no posts until Monday.  God bless you all this weekend!

 

 

Lent 2012 – Day 9 (Thursday)

01. March 2012 · Comments Off · Categories: 2012 Resolution, Eric's Life, Lent 2012, Spirituality

Normally, when I write, I begin by reviewing my previous posts. Especially during this Lenten journey as I attempt to post daily, I’ve been going over all my previous posts this Lent. Something triggers a thought I can write about. But today, this can’t happen. I’m at work with a network that is completely down, no internet, no access to my servers, no access to my previous writing. IN short, I’ve been trying to figure out some way to occupy my time for the past 2 hours. Things with our system are worse NOW than they were 2 hours ago!

So, I know you are asking yourself, how did you post this then? Well, here’s what’s going to happen. Once I’m done writing, I’m going to see if the internet is up. If it is, great. If not, I’m going to copy this file over to my Nook Color. Then, when we go to church this evening for Scott’s band practice, I’ll connect via the church’s wifi and post from there!

But first… first, I have to come up with a post about my Lenten journey.

Some years ago, my walk with God went through a particularly dark spell. By that I mean that I lost clarity in my journey… it’s hard, really to explain. I lost faith in God. But I didn’t. As I’ve written elsewhere in this blog, I operate under a certainty in God’s existence that not all people are capable of. I KNOW God exists, but I have had periods when I wasn’t sure how to express or experience that knowledge. I wasn’t really sure just WHAT God is.

I remember in seminary that we covered this kind of thing in one of the classes I took. I really remember very little of a specific nature, but I remember talking about the stages of belief, how we begin by believing because we’re told to believe. It’s a bit grey as I say, but I remember that they spoke of having to come to a place where we were no longer certain of the faith we had brought with us to seminary, and then to begin to rebuild our faith based on our own experience and knowledge of God. I think that bests describes what was going on. I know that, to some degree, that occurred for me at St. Meinrad.

Then I returned to Omaha, and the church I belong to here encouraged a different type of faith in me. I don’t really want to categorize it as one thing or another because I don’t wish to diminish what it was… it was right for me at that time. But I’ve always been on and have always experienced my life as a spiritual journey, seeking God, Who God Is, What God Means to me. I read voraciously of many different spiritual masters. And then I read a book wherein the author (a very good, and Godly man by all repute) “deconstructed” my traditional understanding of God. Had I read this man’s writing under closer guidance from my own spiritual director and others who could have held me accountable, that would have been better, but as it was, I read his stuff alone, and held myself superior to most of my associates… I, after all, had graduated from Seminary! Well, the writer deconstructed my understanding of God. And then, I stopped reading his book. So, I never discovered how or even if he reconstructed an understanding of God that I could identify with.

My orthodox christian view of God crumbled. Along with that image of God went belief in original sin, replaced by a conviction that God created us all in Original Beauty and Grace. Therefore, I questioned the reason behind Jesus death and resurrection. And then, my understanding of what heaven is also disintegrated.

I’ve struggled ever since with the aftermath of that effort. For a long time, I questioned my faith, but never that knowledge that has been deep within me that God is. God IS. My walk with Jesus didn’t really suffer too badly, I prayed daily. I continued to acknowledge Jesus as Friend, Brother, Savior (though how that worked itself out, how Jesus saved and from what did suffer.) And in the midst of all this, with my understanding clouded as it was, and my ability to comprehend heaven and what heaven is severely challenged, my mom died.

How to put God back into a context I could identify with seemed always just out of grasp. I didn’t really know who to turn to. But I worked with my pastor, a good man, perhaps better for this task because he was somewhat unorthodox, or at least so I perceived him to be.

I’d like to tell you now that all of that is behind me, but that would be a lie. It’s not. I still am unsure of God, but now I’m at peace with being unsure of God, because I STILL KNOW that God IS, and I am experience that God daily in my walk and in my life, and so it’s okay if I can’t return to my original belief. Jesus and I still walk daily. I share with Jesus my struggles and my doubts and my confusion, and because I know He Lives, I can still rely on Jesus, even though I don’t know what it is I believe about his death and resurrection (and yes, I believe those things.) I’m okay in spite of my lack of understanding what life hereafter is. Will I see Mom & Dad again? Will Scott and I be reunited in heaven after our lives here are finished? Heck, is there really a Rainbow Bridge where my pups gambol on the shores of some river waiting for me to come and collect them and walk on with them into our rewards? I don’t know. I don’t care! I know this: Whatever happens, God’s got my back, and that is all I care about.

This much I have shared. I’m not sure what beyond this I am capable of sharing, how much I want to talk about this or anything. Putting this out there where people I love… and here I especially mean my brothers… is taking a lot of courage for me. Though, just maybe, depending on how things go, I might relate tomorrow WHY I brought this up. Or today’s post may just serve as a referrent now and again in the remaining days of Lent.

Lent 2012 – Day 7 (Tuesday)

28. February 2012 · Comments Off · Categories: 2012 Resolution, Eric's Life, Lent 2012, Pets, Spirituality

Today is a “Doctor Day”.  It’s one of those days I cram in as many medical appointments as possible so that I can get them all over with at once.  Only, it didn’t work.

My first visit today was to the dentist.  I very much do not like going to the dentist.  I very much do not like having work done on my mouth.  I very much do not like sharp pointy, grindy or otherwise scary objects placed in my mouth.  Today, up front, I told my dentist these dislikes of mine.  Actually, they are part of yet another phobia of mine.  He said “Don’t worry.  We aren’t going to do any of that kind of thing today.  We’re just going to clean them.”

“Whew!” I exclaimed.  I was afraid you were going to want to do something more, like a new crown or something.

“Oh, I don’t do that kind of thing,” he chuckled, “I’ll be referring you to the endo <somethingorother> down the hall.  You need a root canal.  They’ll call you to schedule a meeting, and then while your at that meeting they’ll schedule you for the root canal.”

In spite of my new determination not to think bad things about people, I must say right about now I’m thinking “jerk!”  But he’s a nice guy!

This afternoon, I have a podiatrist appointment.  This is one of those appointments that become necessary once a year when one is diabetic… nerve damage can sneak up on one.  In my case, in October at the last appointment, the doctor said I have capsulitis.  Bottom line is, it hurts like hell for me to walk.  Once I have taken a dozen steps or so, the pain recedes and then I can walk quite well, without the pain.  But those first 10 paces or so… I look like a 100 year old man taking his first steps in 3 months. “oh! Ow! Eee! Aye!”

He told me to control the discomfort with Advil/Ibuprofen.  Well, I’m now up to 4 doses of 3 ibuprofen daily, and sometimes 4 ibuprofen.  That’s hard on the kidneys!  Or is it liver?  Whatever, it’s hard on the gut, too.  So, it looks like this old man will get to have a cortisone shot deep into my toes.  We’ll see.  I just got a call “Can you come in 3 hours early?”  Yah, shore ya betcha!

Our puppy Ixchel serves as my example, today.  I was considering our interactions at night.  After we got home last night, Scott set about preparing dinner, I went upstairs, slipped into my sweats and put on my walking shoes, and then started walking on the treadmill.  Nikki disappeared to the kitchen to watch Scott… knowing eventually Scott would take notice and slip her a small piece of meat, or perhaps the drippings from the package.  Ixchel ran upstairs to watch me.  She’s still puppy enough that she has no problem coming UP stairs, but going back down our hardwood, slippery stairs is just a little too intimidating.  So, after watching me for a long puppy time (2 minutes, max) she decided to go downstairs.  And stood at the top of the stairs crying.  She’s louder than Nikki who is 4 times her size!  Eventually, Scott came and got her.

Later, after dinner, we were watching TV on the sofa.  She was on the far side doing something, when suddenly, she turned dashed across the sofa and before I could react POUNCED on to my chest, flopped over exposing her tummy and began biting my ear.  My initial response to this ALWAYS is to pick her up and toss her back on to the sofa with a stern “STOP THAT!”  To which she responds by leaping on to my stomach, flopping over and biting my ear.  This is Puppyese for “Hey, Pops, it’s time to go pee!!!!!! Come ONNN!!!!”

So, I take her out.  I want Scott to take her out.  But Scott just sits there, and waits for me to take her out.  Of course, this is because if I’m home, Nikki won’t go outside for Scott!  So I take out the dogs.  They pee.  Then we trot back inside and Ixchel takes up her post, playing with Scott.

Why do I say this rambunctious puppy is an example to me?  Because I’m like her.  A lot.  I go off and get myself in a bind, cry out, and am constantly being rescued from said bind by a loving God.  And, well, okay, when it comes to the peeing part, I got nuthin’.  But I DO know that her jumping and biting my ear is a lot like my praying to God.  Even though she doesn’t always get a response the first time, I do eventually answer her.  And while I’m not saying that every time God answers my prayer I get what I want, I do know that when I pray, God does answer.  I may have to ask several times before God gives me an answer THAT I CAN COMPREHEND.   But God always answers.

I wonder what would happen if I pounced on GOD’s tummy?

UPDATE:  I have returned from the podiatrist.  No shots.  New diagnosis.  Plantar Fasciitis.  The arch supports that I bought from him are insufficient, so we increased the arch (I have high arches).  If this works, then I’ll need to have special orthotics made for my shoes.  The good news is they supposedly last for life.  The bad news is they’re $345 a pair.

ANOTHER UPDATE:  Wow!  I ran a test when I got home.  It was just 2 hours since lunch, so I checked my BGL.  150.  Not too bad, but not what I want it to be.  Then I did a bit of a workout on the treadmill.  Twenty minutes at varying speeds up to 3.3 mph, and varying slopes up to 7%.  I just started this form of exercise again, so I’m going slow.  Then I checked my BGL again… 91.  WOW!  That means I’m going to have to keep an eye on things… that’s a pretty significant drop, and had I kept up my walking another 10 minutes AND had the numbers continued down, I might have been treading on hypoglycemic territory.  I don’t like that territory.

Lent 2012 – Day 6 (Monday)

27. February 2012 · 1 comment · Categories: 2012 Resolution, Eric's Life, Lent 2012, Spirituality

I awakened this morning with a low grade headache.  It’s a headache of the sinus variety, I’m thinking.  The kind that makes any degree of higher-level thought unwelcome.  It’s the kind of headache that entices me to seek out an “off-the-radar” kind of day.  Does that make sense?  If I were home today, I’d nap, and then if the headache were still present, I’d probabaly spend the remainder of the day watching TV (at low volume), the only effort expended being the effort not to drool.

Instead, of course, I came to work and have spent the day  hoping against hope that my servers would all behave themselves, and not require me to diagnose problems.  I was certain that if everything went smoothly I’d be able to avoid over-taxing my brain, and might even be able to come up with an awesome post on the topic of my lenten journey.  Not to be the case, I fear.  The procedure I wrote on Wednesday last week, worked fine on Thursday, and fine on Friday, and then on Saturday worked in a less than desireable fashion.  So it had to be reworked.  That meant using my head.  And my head does NOT appreciate being used today.  But, enough of headaches.

The majority of you who read this blog are Christians.  And I think it is probably true to say, then, that you might understand me when I say that there are times, and those times are not anywhere NEAR as infrequent as I would like them to be, when God “convicts me” of the need to repent of a thought pattern.  Back in the day, and here I refer to that far off golden time known as “The Seventies”, when Mom & Dad & I were active in the Catholic Charismatic Renewal, which is how I met Kathy, there was a comedian by the name of Mike Warnke (wow, I just discovered he’s still in an active ministry!)  He refered to such moments of conviction as God’s reaching down and BAM! hitting him with a 2 by 4… “He touched me…”.  I guess you’d have to be there.  It’s funny, trust me.

Today, for me, is one such time.  I think I’ve probably made it clear to the point of nuisance, that I have issues with people who identify as Christians, and probably especially with clergy, in spite of the fact I consider myself Christian, and one of my best friends is clergy, along with several other friends who might not quite qualify as CLOSE friends.  It’s easy to get into a trap of thinking a particular way.  Heck I’ll even confess that maybe it took on a comforting effect “Well, wouldn’t you know _______ displayed <insert offensive, bad behavior here>.  What do you expect from a Christian/minister/whatever.”

It’s true that I have come to expect bigotry and hatred from people I shouldn’t expect it from.

But today’s conviction of truth came about as I realized that perhaps one such comment may have been misconstrued by a friend as a reference to him.  And then, as I attempted to clarify that it was not, I became worried that I was just digging that hole deeper.

And then I realized that I know so many wonderful Christians and Christian clergy and how dare I… yes, HOW DARE I… conflate that evil that I have seen spewed by a tiny number of Christians with that which can be expected from ALL Christians?  And even if that “tiny number” is far, far larger than it should be in my opinion, I still have no right “paint in such large strokes” my opinions.

In my heart, I know what I believe God wants from each of us… to walk upright in God’s sight, to love one’s neighbor, and to acknowledge what Jesus said of our neighbor… they’re ALL my neighbor… and to love God with my whole heart and soul and mind and strength.  I can only control my own efforts, how ridiculous of me to worry about what others do.

So, to all my Christian clergy friends, and to all my Christian family & friends, while I’ve always been careful in my own mind to distinguis YOU from… those OTHER people… I am sorry.  And I’ll try to remember this little lesson today, and to paint with finer lines, and more delicate hues.

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