On & Off the Road

Well, some time ago, I promised myself I’d never give in to the “meme” or “tag” game… but it’s been so long since I wrote, I decided to give it a shot. So, here goes.

Appetizer
Do your closer friends tend to be male or female? Why do you think that is?

Gender only matters to me in bed. I look at the personality to determine who my friends are. That said, my closest circle of friends at this time are both male AND female, but with a slightly higher number of women.

Soup
If you could wake up tomorrow with a new talent, what would it be?

Time management skills. Mine totally suck.

Salad
Name a household cleaning item that you would recommend to others.

Simple Green. I like the smell, it kills bacteria, and cleans well.

Main Course
What do you strive for in life?

Socratic virtue: Balance. That and fantasical wealth… I’m thinking $150 million will probably be sufficient.

Dessert
On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being highest, how funny do you consider yourself?

Maybe a 6… but I’m factoring in that I find myself a hell of a lot funnier than others do. I’m usually the only one who laughs at my jokes. That said, I heard a joke last night that everyone else laughed at, and I’m still trying to get it. “Two nuns are sitting in a bar. One turns to the other and says ‘I wonder where the soap is?’. The other replies ‘That’s for sure!’”. Is it just me? I don’t get it! That’s funny?

Wow! I just had a fascinating experience on my walk this morning.

About a block before I got to where “my” deer normally grazes, and where we commune each morning, I happened to be looking towards a vacant lot. My eyes spied movement.

At least 7 deer had heard me walking and were running off towards the wooded hills. Then, I heard a clatter, and saw on the street ahead of me an eighth deer running off towards my left. I took a moment to watch these graceful animals, then started my walk again.

Almost immediately I sensed movement off in the direction the larger herd had dashed. Looking over, I saw a deer in full run, heading straight for me!

I stopped to watch, unsure what was going to happen. “You can’t be serious,” I thought “Surely this deer isn’t going to attack me, is it?”

Six yards from me, right at the roads edge, the deer brought itself to a stop, then turned partially.

It was a young deer, a fawn, it’s spots still clearly visible in the dawns light. He looked right at me. We stood, less than 20 feet apart gazing at each other. I looked behind him, and there, in the trees I saw the rest of the herd watching intently.

We stood there, virtually toe to toe (hoof?) for several minutes, then he nonchalantly turned and walked away.

I was totally humbled by this. Thank you, God.

My church has been abuzz, of late, about “The Homeless Problem”. Many don’t want them hanging around our property. We feed them on Sunday mornings, and to many in our congregation that’s too much. Let’s keep them away the rest of the week! They scare us.

I’m committed to helping our homeless. I am a staunch supporter of our Sunday Breakfast Ministry. I prepare meals, at my own expense for up to 60 one Sunday each month. I’ve done it two Sundays a month when the need was present. I feel strongly about the rightness of this ministry, at almost all cost to all other ministry in our church. I feel so strongly about it that if the congregation ever decides to terminate the ministry, I may have to leave the congregation.

Why? Frankly, the homeless scare me, a little, too. I’m relatively shy, an introvert, I don’t talk easily with folks I don’t know and can’t relate to well. My ministry to these folks is two-fold. I cook their breakfast one Sunday a month. And I stand in the food line serving them and doing what comes natural to me… I pay them respect. Each scoop of eggs or ham or bacon or whatever comes with a “Good Morning, Sir! Thank you for joining us today!” Or, “Good Morning, Ma’am! It’s a pleasure to see you!” They’re human beings, and they deserve common courtesy as much as the VP of my division at work. PErhaps more.

Why am I so devoted to this ministry? Perhaps it’s because I come more and more to embrace the words of Peter:

9But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s own people,£ in order that you may proclaim the mighty acts of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. 10 Once you were not a people, but now you are God’s people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.

I remember my bishop (RCC) referring to gays as “faggots”. I recall the numerous condemnations of me as a gay person put out by the Vatican. I hear the sneering attacks on my humanity by major, national evangelists… you know the ones. I have seen people turned away at churches, told they are not welcome, not wanted, unloved. I have seen those who have been graced by a gracious God, turn away those they disapprove of, in acts of utter UNgraciousness and even cruelty.

Once I wasn’t anything. But then I discovered that not only am I something very important, someONE very important, but I learned to accept that my God made me who I am, and I am Chosen, a royal priesthood, once I didn’t matter, but now I realize I AM part of a people, still scorned by the churches, I’ve received mercy at my loving Parent’s hand. I AM somebody.

How foolish, then, and how ungrateful, could I be as to turn away ANY of God’s people because they don’t conform to societal norms. Because, for whatever reason, they have found themselves destitute and bereft?

So, no, I don’t think we have a homeless problem at my church. We have, in our pastor’s words “a homeless situation”… more to the point, perhaps, we have a homeless opportunity.

An opportunity to share the love that has been given us unconditionally by our Parent with others who need that love just as much as we do – maybe, no PROBABLY, more than we do.

Have I mentioned here that I’ve taken up the sport of walking? Well, I have.

I don’t know a lot about addiction. I’m lucky in that vein… I’ve never had a problem with alcohol… IF I have a drink, I have A drink… maybe 2. It’s been nearly a decade since I’ve been drunk. And I’ve only ONCE tried an illegal drug… I took a hit off a cousin’s joint. Okay I took several.

Well, I DO smoke. So I fully admit to having at least one addiction. I imagine somewhere out there, there’s a Smokers Anonymous program (and please don’t misconstrue that comment… I mean no disparaging remark to AA).

But now, I seem to have developed another addiction… to walking! (Another side note… I really don’t intend by this comment to minimize addictions.) I can’t seem to get enough! And when I walk I need, NEED, to know how far I’ve walked! I get a bit of a natural high off of a good walk!

I washed my pedometer this week. $60 down the drain… almost literally! I forgot it was attached to my shorts and threw them in the washer. By the time the new one arrived, I thought I’d go crazy not knowing how many steps I’d taken each day.

Every morning, I get up before dawn and get a cup of coffee. Then, I go check email and skim through my list of blogs, opening them all in tabs, then closing the tabs that have nothing new. I leave the remaining tabs for later.

Then I get dressed. First the socks, then the shoes… then, ahem, my underwear, t-shirt and shorts. Why? I have no clue. All other times of the day, I dress the NORMAL way, with shoes and socks last. TMI?

Then, I grab my bottle of specially prepared gatorwater and head out the door. I walk up the hill, listening as I walk (no stroll, this, I mean WALK… HARD!) to the sounds from the houses as families wake up.

About 8 blocks up the hill, the hill starts to steepen. Two more blocks and the hill is now pronounced. I turn right and walk a block over, then left and another block, then right once more. I’m at the foot of Eliott… This is a STEEP hill… without breaking stride, I begin my climb. I have to change my gait a little, or the arthritis of my knee would lock me up. But I keep my pace. By the time I’m at the top of the hill, I’m out of breath, but I don’t stop.

I start down the other side. By the time the hill levels out to a bit of a downward slant, my breathing is back to normal. This is good.

Because now I finally slow down and creep another 20 yards until the hill to the right gives way to the edge of the lawn by the nursing home. There she is. Every morning. She’s a beautiful girl, always with her two children trailing along.

She looks up at me with those big beautiful eyes, every bit of her attention now on me as she tenses.

I stop. I whisper sweet nothings to her. Finally she relaxes. Behind her, her children look expectantly at her, waiting for her to give some kind of signal. They utterly disregard me. It’s MOM who they focus on.

After several minutes, I tell her I have to go. She nods her assent, then bends her long graceful neck to her task. I turn and walk off, looking over my shoulder at her. Every morning it’s the same… and for some reason, every morning a tune from Sound of Music pops into my mind… I wonder… am I in love?

“Doe… a deer… a female deer!”

A little further down the path, I sometimes see a raccoon run down in to the creek at my approach. Then I’m over the bridge, and across the highway. From here, its a straight shot down to another highway, a right turn, and 10 minutes later… an hour after starting off… I’m home. I check my faithful pedometer. 5,485 steps. Let’s see, a 3 foot stride, 5,485 steps… that’s 16,455 feet…uh, come one brain do it… do it…. dooo ittt… ah, yes! 3.11 miles. Sigh. Tomorrow I need to add some to my route. 3.11 miles a morning is just NOT enough!

Scott is now up, feeding the cats. Nikki jumps all over me as though I’ve been gone a week. The lights come on. I strip off the shoes and socks, the shorts and, uh, shorts. I put a towel over the office chair so that the sweat which now streams off me won’t damage the stained fabric… then pour another coffee, sit down and read the blogs that interest me.

I always finish with the same one… one of the few bloggers I feel like I’m beginning to know.

It’s now 3:30 p.m. I only have 12 and a half hours before I can do my walk again. I need it! I WANT it! I can’t wait!

(See correction about Lake Moraine below. 8/4/05)

Well, I’m just finally getting settled back in to the hum-drum of daily living after a 10 day vacation… sort of.

Scott & I left on July 21 for a two-pronged vacation. For the first 5 days, we visited beautiful Calgary, Alberta, Canada. This was a blast!

Our first full day, we rented a van and drove up to Jasper National Park and Banff National Park. It was a fun drive, and the views were just awe-inspiring. These parks are home to what I believe to be the most beautiful mountains in North America (perhaps shy of Alaska, which I’ve not visited…yet.) The Bow River which ran parallel to the highway was a magnificent green color. We saw Elk. Wanted to see bear, but didn’t expect to, and didn’t.

When we got to Lake Louise, we drove over to the ski lodge and rode the chair lift up to the 6850 foot level. I honestly don’t have the kind of language to describe the view! Far off across the valley lay Lake Louise. The air was crisp, clear and with just enough warmth to make the trip up and the visit to the nature center there a delightful experience.

After travelling back down the mountain, we continued along to the west just so we could say we’d visited British Columbia, then made the nearest turn around, and headed back to Lake Louise. This time, we drove up to the lake and walked along it’s edges for about an hour. The three people with me all took off a shoe and tested the water. That wasn’t good enough for me… I removed both shoes, rolled up my jeans and waded out as far as possible without getting my pants wet. Oh, my gosh! Was it ever cold. But, really, after the numbness set in, it was quite enjoyable!

After leaving the lake, we drove back towards the road (Trans-Canada Rte 1, aka TC-1, by the way) we saw a turn off for another lake, Moraine Lake. Feeling adventurous we followed this road for 11 kilometers (a bit over 6 miles) up a 75% grade (ear-popping time!)

When we finally arrived we discovered that we’d made a fantastic decision. Moraine Lake was far more beautiful, in my opinion, than Lake Moraine! (NOTE (8/4/05): Uh, sorry for this last sentence. It should have said “Lake Moraine was far more… than Lake LOUISE!) I’ve never seen water that blue! I’ve never seen anything NATURAL that color blue! The closest I can describe it is… check out a neon “Open” sign… the blue neon ring around the outside… that’s close!

Walked over 12 miles that day! Beautiful scenery, good friends, nice companionship… and the man I love… what more could a guy ask for????

The remainder of our time in Calgary was spent at our church’s General Conference. Each morning, the four of us woke up, and walked around the city, down to the river (still the Bow) and back up to our hotel… about 3 miles. The rest of the day was spent in awesome worship and reasonably good workshops.

Then it was time to put the cool, crispness of Calgary behind us, as Scott and I flew on to Washington DC, with it’s haze and 99 degree heat, and humidity that was almost unbearable.

Washington DC is in actuality a pretty fantastic place to visit. We got to see many of the sights. But I’m so glad it’s only a place to visit for me. I’d hate to live there!

We joined my mom and dad for dad’s “96th Infantry Division Reunion”. It’s probably the last one this big, and it was 60 years since the end of the war. It was fun seeing Dad meet old army buddies, in some cases for the first time since he was evacuated from Okinawa.

It was a very stressful time for us, though. Mom’s Alzheimer’s is taking a serious toll and the stress of the event and travel really showed. I think she had fun. I hope she did! I did, just knowing that it’s one of the last memories of her I’ll carry.

Of all the cities I’ve visited in my travels around the globe, Calgary is probably the only one I could REALLY get into. Small enough to be similar in size to Omaha, yet with a distinctly big city air to it. Folks aren’t hooked on the macho man image there, lots of folk walk and bike, and there’s a decent rapid transit system.

I’m no huge U.S. jingoist. The USA is, to me, just one more country in which to live. No better, and no worse, than any other country. Our legal system and form of government are potentially among the best, yet how we use them, and abuse them, means that potentiality is never reached.

I won’t bash my country. I won’t bash any other country. I’m happy here.

But if I HAD to leave, I suppose Canada might be a nice place to settle. Not that they’re likely to want me!

I’d like to say I was surprised by the anti-American sentiment I encountered there… though it was appropriately directed towards the government, not to individuals. But I wasn’t surprised. Not after 5+ years with the Australopithecus that currently pollutes the White House. I’d have called him a Neandertal, but frankly, didn’t want to insult that species.

I’m hoping to return to my posting on a more regular basis soon. When I do, though, I plan on writing about what interests me. And if I seem to get stuck in a particular topic or area, well, that’s just the way it is. I write for me. If others enjoy it, that’s great! If not, I do truly apologize. I’ve really enjoyed getting to know the one or two folks I’ve met through my blog.

Before I begin this blog, I think a definition or two is in order. And before the definition, an apology to “The Fellow Traveller”. I just two minutes ago sent you an email explaining why it was unlikely I’d be bloggin any time soon. And Voila! Out of the clear blue, inspiration…. such as it is.

“Tramp [Noun]“

1 a : a foot traveler b : a begging or thieving vagrant c : a woman of loose morals;
2 : a walking trip
3 : the succession of sounds made by the beating of feet on a surface (as a road, pavement, or floor)
4 : an iron plate to protect the sole of a shoe
5 : a ship not making regular trips but taking cargo when and where it offers and to any port — called also tramp steamer

I’ve taken to walking, lately. It was recommended as a form of activity for one who was, otherwise, pretty inactive. I find I’ve actually become a bit addicted to this form of activity.

A little over a week ago, I found myself in Branson, Missouri, at a family reunion. Table Rock lake was just across Highway 165 (or was that 265?) from our motel, and the entrance to the State Park was just few dozen yards down the road. There is a nice walking trail along this shore of the lake, starting at the park’s marina, and running to the dam that created the lake. From the Marina to the Dam was a total of 2.5 miles.

My first afternoon there, I walked from the park down to the Marina, then back, a mere 1.6 miles. This is where the point of this blog, such as there is one, comes to the fore.

As I was walking up the road, I found myself in the middle of the entrance to the boat ramp as a car coming the other way decided they wanted to turn into the ramp area. I was in the way. I chose not to run to clear the way for them (inconsiderate of a mere pedestrian, don’t you think?) as i) it was hot, ii) I was a little tired, iii) I have arthritis, making it a tad hard to run and iv) it was all uphill.

As I passed the passenger door of the car, the female passenger muttered loud enough for me to hear (like, duh!) “Tramp!”.

Me! A Tramp! Of course, I’m not a pleasant man. I don’t take kindly to being called names, and I’m tired of doing so. So, I didn’t let this go. I muttered (loud enough for the passenger to hear me, like duh!… no, I won’t tell you – you can guess! But I must interject an abject apology to my dog Nikki. Sorry girl, didn’t mean to demean you to such a degree!)

But today, I looked up the definition of Tramp… and I see I may have been too hasty to judge the darling lady in the car.

Perhaps she was just calling me what I was! A Foot Traveller. Surely she couldn’t have determined from observing me for 5 seconds that I was a beggar or a thief. On the other hand, I suppose I MIGHT have looked a bit of a vagrant. Now, as to being one of loose morals, I totally challenge ANYONE to be able to determine that from watching a tired, sweaty man struggling up a bit of a hill!

And, it’s true, I was on a walking trip. My feet are a bit largish, so I do tramp as I walk, slapping my battleships with each step (especially on road, pavement of floor surfaces… uh, what else is there?)

I think I’ll categorically deny definition 4. Just doesn’t fit. I’m not an Iron Man. I have never BEEN an Iron Man. And I think it is relatively safe to say that, at 47, with arthritis in both knees, it is highly unlikely I shall ever BE an Iron Man.

Which leaves us with definition 5. I suppose to a petite, vapid and totally brainless little thing sitting in a sports car, I might be mistaken for an ocean going vessel. But that part was just plain mean of her. I mean, after all! I’ve lost 23 friggin’ pounds, thank you very much!

Okay…

I can buy MOST of what this survey/quiz says about me.

But 64% Roman Catholic? Ewww.

Must I be insulted by anonymous Quizsters?

And, that the quiz indicates I’m 4% fundamentalist… I guess, ok. I can see that. In fact I’d a thunk it was higher.

You scored as Emergent/Postmodern. You are Emergent/Postmodern in your theology. You feel alienated from older forms of church, you don’t think they connect to modern culture very well. No one knows the whole truth about God, and we have much to learn from each other, and so learning takes place in dialogue. Evangelism should take place in relationships rather than through crusades and altar-calls. People are interested in spirituality and want to ask questions, so the church should help them to do this.

What’s your theological worldview?
created with QuizFarm.com

It’s funny how the strangest things can get my attention and lead me off in a direction that may have nothing to do with anything.

Today that happened. I was reviewing my Spam folder prior to emptying it. Near the top was one with the subject line “We need people BAD!” (It was from “Research Group”.)

I read that and my thought immediately was “That’s what I was saying yesterday!”

We need people BAD. I’ve heard a lot of people in my life say “Oh, I don’t do church. I mean, I believe in God, but I commune with God alone, not in church.”

Well, I can respect that. I too commune with God alone. I love sitting on a beach, or on a mountain top, in the middle of a desert or a snowy prairie, and connecting with my Divine Companion. Just the two of us, preferably (but not necessarily) under a wide, cloud-free, starry sky. My Companion speaks to me there, or just cradles me, my head against His shoulder (in those times, my Companion is definitely present to me as male.)

But we need people BAD. It’s the tinder of numerous voices lifted in song, praise and worship to the Companion of All that keeps the spark glowing. I need that too. As much as I need the quiet times beneath starry skies.

And whether or not folks admit it, I really think we ALL need the group. Today, my references to the Divine Other specifically refer to that Reality as Companion. God is our Divine Companion, walking with us wherever – WHEREVER – we sojourn. It is that Companion who caused us to be; and I believe that Companion which causes us to be social creatures, not solitary ones.

Some of us are largely social, for whom a little quiet time now and then is nice. Others of us are largely private, for whom social time now and then is healthy.

But ya know, I don’t care whether one is primarily social, or primarily private. Sojourning alone or in groups, we all must seek out the Companion.

Baboons and Cheetahs.

Gosh! It’s been nearly 3 weeks since I posted last. I feel bad about that, in a way, but not really. My blog serves as an outlet for ME to write when I feel the need to, or when I feel led to. The day it becomes a burden is the day I close it down.

I embarked, over a month ago, on a rather strenuous journey here to define my understanding of God. In my efforts, I forgot a simple fact that we as humans can never know the ultimate truth of who and what God is.

That said, I can express my understanding of who God is to me at this point in time; I can attempt however poorly to express the reality of God in my life as I experience God today. My journey thus far has taught me that this expression of God today will surely change by tomorrow.

Recently, I was part of a conversation that discussed why we should never turn someone away. In my rather limited ability to fully express myself clearly – or perhaps more truthfully, in my tendency to over simplify what I’m trying to say – I said “Because when we turn someone away, we turn away Jesus.” It was pointed out to me that I was by that statement forcing Jesus into the role of cosmic policeman.

So, on my drive today (fully 3 weeks after said conversation) I was meditating on what I truly meant.

In 1 Corinthians 3:16 (The Message) Paul says to us “You realize, don’t you, that you are the temple of God, and God himself is present in you?”

Each of us, whether the vilest criminal and sinner or the most pious of holy persons, is the temple of God; and in our temple is what I have come to call a “God-spark”.

Some of us never encounter this spark within ourselves. Others commune with it daily. Our quest in life, ultimately, is to seek down into ourselves and encounter this God-spark, even merge our spirits into it.

When we engage in this quest, each encounter with another person enables the sparks within each individual to glow brighter. The more we open our hearts to others, the more we kindle our God-spark.

First, the mild glow spreads then blossoms into a gentle, lightly flickering flame as of a small candle in a darkened room. With each encounter, with each subsequent growth of our circle of association, that flame continues to grow.

God more fully exposes to us the reality of God’s presence within each of us. At times, our God-sparks can dwindle back to a little spark, at others when we encounter each other in worship, a conflagration occurs. God’s presence in each coalesces into God’s presence to all. Profound experiences of God’s presence in and to the world are felt, I believe, when the God-spark in us explodes into a wildfire.

When I turn away, or fail to welcome, a stranger, I am turning away not only that individual, not only Jesus, but another God-spark, another opportunity to meet God and to ignite in the world the wildfire of God’s love. I diminish myself as well as the other.

This is what exclusion does to our world. Exclusion on a social or cultural scale deepens the darkness of spiritual night that surrounds us all, threatening to encroach and snuff us out. We as a society needs to, must learn that exclusion is not protection but ultimately our downfall. When society learns to welcome and embrace the diversity of experience around us, the wildfire of God’s love can burn so fiercely as to deprive the dark of it’s power. Imagine, a world awash in a flame so bright that the very night is banished.

Call it God’s love, or Allah’s love, or call it what you will, my vision can not override yours, and my truth of the Divine Other is not yours. But that Divine Other, in all it’s many facets and manifestations is true for all. When that Divine Other is aflame in this world, oh what a world that would be!